The CoParenting TOOLKIT


What 5th graders
in a school divorce
group said about
Mom's House,
Dad's House for KIDS:

  • "It's not like other books, it helps a lot"
  • "It will warn you about those dangerous surprises"
  • "It helped me connect with other people's feelings"
  • "It helped me understand things I didn't understand before."
  • "It'll help you through divorce if you're unsure"
  • "Great for kids who are in a horrible divorce"
  • "I'm going to make my older brother read it"
  • "I'm bringing this home so my Dad and I can read it together"
  • "It really helps you understand"
  • "A great book. I understand things more"
  • "It's a good book for parents and kids"
  • "I think this will help parents if they read it."
  • "I use the "Feel Good" list all the time"

Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids

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An easy read for you, a lifesaver for your child

Find immediate, concrete, and practical solutions

This is an important book for both parents and kids. In Isolina Ricci's practice the first reading recommendation she makes for parents are certain chapters of this book—before they read any of the other books. This can give parents an important (and quick) look at the key issues for children and what to expect. This is a gentle book parents can trust to guide their school-aged children through family change with a hopeful vision for the future. When children know parents have also read the book, they can feel relieved knowing their parents have the same frame of reference.

Tips for Parents

First, read the book yourself! It's an easy read that will help you reinforce your individual parenting style and suggest options to help evaluate the challenges of family change. It can reinforce your role as a parent.

Second, with children under 9 years old, select passages to read together based on his or her age and temperament. The section, "What's True" and "What's Not True" on pages 9-10, and the maps of Divorce Territory and/or Stepfamily Territory can be especially helpful as a start.

Third, for children 9-10, select passages to discuss together or let the older ones read it alone.

Fourth, for tweens, teens and older teens, let them see you reading it. While some children want to read passages with a parent, older tweens and teens don't want to be seen reading a book like this or even talk about it with a parent. But they want the information. Leave it out, let them see you reading a few pages, and ask no questions. When children know you have read the same book, they know you will both have the same frame of reference, especially for the tough issues.

  • Separation and Divorce Territory map
  • Check out the different conflict resolution approaches for both parents and kids on pages 103-112;151-155; 233-242
  • Use selected sections in the book, for example "The Miserable Middle", or "Feeling Soup" as part of a treatment plan


20 Chapters, 271 pages

Part I-Separation-Divorce    Part II-Stepfamilies     Part III Believe in Yourself
3 Maps:  Divorce Territory, Stepfamily Territory,  "Believe in Yourself"
Illustrations: "Feeling Soup", "Stepsibling Soup"